Taking Matters Into Our Own Hands (2002)

December 2002
Burlingame, California

Dear friends and family of Jennifer and Andy (Mom and Dad) and our friends too –

We hope this note finds you, and your loved ones happy and healthy this holiday season. Mom and Dad are slow in getting together our first nuclear family holiday letter, so Coop and I took matters into our own hands (which though rather small are surprisingly strong, and really fascinating to look at too).

We’ve learned a lot in the past eight months on the outside. The preceding eight on the inside were useful too – perhaps focused on more elemental forms of growth, but with our close proximity to each other they formed the basis for our special brotherhood. We both acknowledge that Cooper got the better real estate in the womb, leading to his larger initial size, but I have many compensating abilities – among them the uncanny ability to type. So we are calling it even.

These structural differences from our time in the womb lead us each to approach life somewhat differently. Cooper appears to believe that pretty much everything will come his way – a reasonable assumption, since everything always has, and with no effort on his part I might add. I, on the other hand, having been a bit crowded and somewhat further from the good snacks – recognize the importance of seizing every thing or opportunity just as it comes within range. This requires constant alertness, preparedness and vigilance. But it comes at a cost of outwardly appearing serious, intense and hard working. Cooper, as I noted earlier, does not live by this code, but adheres to his own. For example, while I expend much energy eating, sleeping (as little as necessary) and discovering things, Cooper – much like a scuba diver trying to conserve his air – simply observes my actions, and copies the things I do that seem to work. Thus (yes, I use words like ‘thus’ seamlessly in conversation already), he is not usually the first to market, but is a fast follower in the areas of holding his head up, standing, and playing with objects. Some might actually argue that he has lead in the areas of eye contact, smiling, laughing, and watching (educational TV). Lest you think otherwise (yes, ‘lest’), I should note here that I am not bitter about this. However, I will say it took me months of hard and frustrating work before I was able to roll over. He, on the other hand, leveraged his biggest asset (his giant noggin) to its best advantage, using its mass and momentum to throw himself in the direction he chose – thereby also rolling over and doing so shortly after I did.

Most recently, I have focused on standing, preferably standing while moving. Cooper likes to watch me do this, and occasionally joins me for a brotherly stand – all the while toothlessly cheering me on with his giant, goofy grin. Indeed, we are conversing more and more in our secret twin language, centered primarily on the sounds “eeee” and “oooo.” Dad thinks he knows what we are saying, but he hasn’t a clue. Just as well – if he knew we were discussing stock tips, he’d probably trade on that information, and before you know it, there goes the house. Our typical interaction follows this pattern: I stare at Cooper, Coop smiles at me with his big toothless grin, I look at what Coop has in his hands, I decide to show Coop how to use it more effectively, Coop indicates that he would prefer to keep it, I decide that Coop’s hand (or ear) would be fine to play with instead, Coop thinks he would like to retain his hand, I pull, Coop yanks, Coop wins but then I pull on his sleeve in order to recapture my hard-won hand. Cooper usually wins, but I am gaining in momentum.

I guess we should pause to say a few words about Mom and Dad. Though it may sound a little self-absorbed for us to mention it, we appear to be the most important thing that has happened to them this year. Mom enjoys her work at Stanford. When not there, she continues her relentless pounding on the computer and email. I try to periodically give her a break by taking over the pounding for her, but she generally declines my offer to take over her work. Dad enjoys his work as the “Brand Guy” at Dolby and his newfound vocation as residential remodeling contractor (a side note: Mom and Dad have been remodeling the house since about the day we were born, a project that they say will end someday, but when something has been going on for literally your ENTIRE LIFE, you tend to be skeptical).

We have much to be thankful for – our loving family including the best grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins ever, a trip to Virginia to be with the extended Smith family (Tim, Mary Ellen, Tyler, Sarah Elizabeth, Toby, Chris, Kacie, Brenna, Andy, Jennifer, Cooper and me) for Thanksgiving, a fabulous nanny and friend, Fatima – and a remarkable, wonderful and warm home with Grandma and Grandpa Aaker for the last 8 months (including much TLC, all you can eat, and dry cleaning). We are truly blessed.

Devon (penning also for Cooper)